Ok so

Yeah this is us

It’s not the first of September, so I missed day fucking ONE of the blog along, but it’s 5 am on the 2nd so I think this counts.

So I’ve been rage blogging lately. You know how they say it takes 7 or 8 attempts to actually quit smoking? Apparently that’s the way it is when you break up with your best friend. We’ve had this Fuck You I’m Done With This Shit fight about 5 times this last year, but I think this time is actually going to stick. I just cannot be friends with someone who won’t let me ever be angry with them. Yeah, I gotta get a hold of my temper, but *damn* I’ve tried and I think I’ve done well. But apparently just texting “you make me so angry” isn’t acceptable.

And I am SO FUCKING DONE WITH THAT SHIT

So here we are. Here I am I should say. Alone and hella lonely. It’s very rough. But I’m holding up. The problem is that she and I talked (texted) ALL day. From the moment we woke up until we went to bed, and we did this for almost 10 years. We texted a lot. So much that it’s so bloody hard to stop.

But I have to.

It’s very much a love/hate kind of thing for me right now.

So I have a ton of free time to fill now. That’s not a bad thing, per se, but it’s lonely. And the pandemic has not helped. I’m double vaxxed and stuff is opening here in Ottawa but I’m still not really doing anything and still staying home all the time. And so are my friends. So there’s not much to occupy my time.

I did actually watch TV last night. I rarely do anymore. Last year I turned on my PVR and the last recording was from 2018 I think. But my brother recommended the Disney+ show Reservation Dogs (which, if you know Rez dog jokes at all is a great name). Only episode one is up, but it’s a comedy/drama that takes place on a reservation in Oklahoma. Great stuff. Highly recommend.

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Author:

40 something woman, living life in Canada's Capital. Writing, or trying to.

6 thoughts on “Ok so

  1. I fell in love with a Rez dog a few weeks ago. She was the sweetest thing. I’ve been eyeing that series.

    And oh boy do I ever get rage blogging and how hard it is to let go.

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  2. Ok, so just “learnt”, that a wordpress comment is made all the way at the bottom – which now seems obvious 🙂 I don’t have rage blogging, but it sounds like rage journaling, just with more clicku noises 😉

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  3. break-ups are bad, but friend break-ups are the hardest. especially when so much of our lives and their are wrapped in each other. i hope the time apart helps you to both calm, heal, think, and then maybe come back together when distance has clarified the edges to keep safe boundaries.

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  4. I think 5am counts as a ‘that day’ post. I hear you re friendship break ups. Hard too when it keeps spiraling back around, like a scab that keeps getting knocked off. And such a strange time with things beginning to reopen yet not everything feeling so safe.

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