While My Guitar Gently Weeps

Jeff Healey was a guitar god. The end.

So the gender thing has been in my head since Elliott Page came out.

In my head a lot.

So I don’t feel like I was born in the wrong body. And I have never felt like I am a man.

But I don’t feel entirely feminine. Or I feel feminine in a slightly masculine way?

My inner self when I was a child was always a boy. Favourite characters? Feminine boys. Who did I write about? Boys. Traumatized boys more specifically.

I know that biologically I am a 43 year old woman.

But I am definitely, oh my gods definitely, genderqueer.

I feel like a feminine guy or androgynous NB person. Or genderfluid.

Fuck I don’t even know. It doesn’t actually matter in the end.

It doesn’t change anything.

Not to me, anyway.

But for the record.


40 something woman, living life in Canada's Capital. Writing, or trying to.

2 thoughts on “While My Guitar Gently Weeps

  1. I like how you say that in the end it doesn’t matter, April. In a way. You are who you are. Sometimes, in many areas of our lives, I feel we are more easily defined by what we’re not rather than what we are. It can feel more definitive somehow.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember watching Elliot make the speech when Jussie was attacked (his nonsense doesn’t make the fact that it happens to many others untrue), anyway I remember having an out of body experience as I listened, and it has never left me – he is amazing, and he has helped me with my own experiences of love and what that means. I hope if discovering exactly who you are is what you need that it happens, but for now, I see you and hear you – if you even needed that 😉 Lots of love from this internet person – Tam

    Liked by 1 person

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