So the gender thing has been in my head since Elliott Page came out.
In my head a lot.
So I don’t feel like I was born in the wrong body. And I have never felt like I am a man.
But I don’t feel entirely feminine. Or I feel feminine in a slightly masculine way?
My inner self when I was a child was always a boy. Favourite characters? Feminine boys. Who did I write about? Boys. Traumatized boys more specifically.
I know that biologically I am a 43 year old woman.
But I am definitely, oh my gods definitely, genderqueer.
I feel like a feminine guy or androgynous NB person. Or genderfluid.
Fuck I don’t even know. It doesn’t actually matter in the end.
It doesn’t change anything.
Not to me, anyway.
But for the record.
I like how you say that in the end it doesn’t matter, April. In a way. You are who you are. Sometimes, in many areas of our lives, I feel we are more easily defined by what we’re not rather than what we are. It can feel more definitive somehow.
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I remember watching Elliot make the speech when Jussie was attacked (his nonsense doesn’t make the fact that it happens to many others untrue), anyway I remember having an out of body experience as I listened, and it has never left me – he is amazing, and he has helped me with my own experiences of love and what that means. I hope if discovering exactly who you are is what you need that it happens, but for now, I see you and hear you – if you even needed that 😉 Lots of love from this internet person – Tam
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