Merry Christmas

Today was really hard. I spent it alone and plans I had fell through. My train tomorrow got cancelled but thankfully my sister helped me get a new ticket for wednesday. I think if I didn’t end up going I would have lost it. I already cried when I thought I wasn’t going.

And I miss J. I was doing so well, barely thinking about it, and now I’m all fucked up over it all again. Argh.

I painted. Did laundry. I should have cleaned more but I’m in pain from my bruised rib.

I am sad today.